Theory Of Pat

It was a good week for pseudo-mutuality. The art of conflict resolution by waiting for it to go away. This is how we resolve our co-emotional problems.   Fantasy Rules

Fantasy gets us into a lot of trouble. Dreamworld is our world. Fantasy helps us connect the dots of life events. Everyone fantasies But What choice do we have we live inside our brains. Unique little universes walking around on two legs with unlimited space available. We can’t get into each other’s heads physically. The best we...

Here’s the deal. We know what created us, We were raised by wolves. We get that Spent early life in survival mode ready to duck and cover in case things went awry. Children of nut bags like ours get our feelings & emotions twisted up like pretzels Not surprising we just might have issues with Forming Relationships...

We met in night school college art class 1975 Tall, Clint Eastwood looking dude, smart, nice guy, polite, well dressed, strong, silent, responsible type. Shared interests in art, science fiction, comedy, camping, liked our kids. Suffered from only-child disease. We called him our stalker in because he always just appeared and tagged along to classes and local...

We held onto fantasy Dad for 9 years… during which time we constructed a brand new fantasy. Regret passing up on Wayne and his Mother Chance to live life in a close knit, loving family. 1986 contacted W via a sympathetic operator who put us in contact with potential MIL Jeanne Jeanette She was ecstatic, Said we...

About a year into wedded bliss we invite MIL & Co over for 4th July weekend. We are in 7th heaven. Kids, teenagers playing in the backyard pool, Grown ups inside, cooking visiting, catching up on gossip. Time to Eat! Kids come in and swarm the dining room… wearing damp bathing suits sitting on dining room chairs....

Next morning bright & early W springs out of bed, showers and goes to have coffee with the folks. Comes back a minute later. Face ashen. MIL & Co have packed up and gone. Question kids. They report they came home from the movies around 1:00 a.m. and the instant they stepped into the house MIL went...

A few silent, uneventful months pass. We are working in home office and hear a noise outside. We rise to look out the window and see MIL & Co’s truck pull away from our drive. & Co looks back and laughs like a demented schoolboy pulling a silly prank as they as they sped away. MIL &...

Add to the Mystery Question: why doesn’t he seem to care? Bigger Q: Why doesn’t he seem to care that he doesn’t seem to care? Is this a guy thing? What about his FIL? A self-defense mechanism? Regardless, our search for fantasy MIL ended. We never saw or spoke with MIL & Co ever again. Over time…MIL...