Clean Jokes

Betty was having pain so she went to the doctor. “Doctor, I just hurt all over”. The doc says “Can you show me just exactly what hurts?” Betty held up her arm and touched her elbow with her finger. “It hurts here” and then she touched her shoulder, “and here too, it really hurts here.” “Hmmmmmm,” said...

Betty walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. Betty explained that she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer requests some kind of collateral for the loan, so Betty hands over the keys to her brand new 12 million dollar Bugatti...

Bob had just arrived to the office when he received a panicky phone text from Betty. “Bob, windows frozen, won’t open!” Bob immediately texted in response, “Betty, just pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap the edges with a hammer.” 10 minutes pass when Bob received a new text from Betty. “Bob, computer really messed...

A group of teen age girlfriends decide to meet for dinner. They discussed where to eat and finally agreed on McDonald’s next to the Sea Side Restaurant. They chose McDonald’s because they only had $6.50 between them and the cute boy in their science class lived on that street.

Without fail, every year Bob and Betty went to the State Fair. Also without fail Bob would plead with Betty to take the romantic helicopter ride over the lake. Betty’s response each time was, I know you want us to ride the helecopter but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks.’ Years...