How to Write a 3-Part Speech

The Monster in Our House.

Introduction: A monster lives in our house.

The beast thrives on

• neglect,
• disorder and
• confusion

and has occupied my life and lived in many rooms over the years. We’ve attempted to exorcise this demon 1,000 times, survived many battles, but the war is hopelessly lost. No hope. However, through much consternation and gnashing of teeth we’ve managed to entrap the Behemoth in the:

Chaos Room, a room with three names:

• Guest Room: Lovely location, sits above the garage and has a nice 2-story view.
• Office Room: Outfitted with all the conveniences of an Internet business
• Junk Room: Where the Wild Things Grow

Body: Guest Room

• In its heyday, the guest room housed
  • grandchildren,
  • relatives and
  • friends.

  Contains a

  • daybed, covered with a paisley
  • comforter with matching
  • pillows.

  The above are the only items we possess which match…each other.

  • night stand which holds a
  • lamp and a
  • white noise machine

  A small desk holds the

  • TV
  • dvd &
  • Roku.

  The walls are

  • white,
  • pink and
  • lavender

  – in splashes and splotches. It has needed a paint job since the day we moved in 34 years ago. The floor is carpeted. We dread the day carpet needs to be replaced. That day passed may years ago. Of the several owners of the past, one fell asleep while smoking in bed. A neighbor tried and failed to save her. We suspect the floor is not pretty beneath the surface.

  Another neighbor insisted the house is haunted by this spirit. We admit some strange things have happened. We usually find the culprits to be a result of

  • rust,
  • corrosion or
  • neglect
• but never witnessed any
  • ghosts,
  • flying lamps or
  • shrieking harpies.

  Office Room

  A desk, computer, 2 printers, paper shredder, binders full of household records and an art table because we

  • like,
  • love and
  • live

  to

  • draw,
  • paint,
  • create.
  • How many of you doodle during meetings?
  • How many doodle on tests? (Supposedly a sign of giftedness – rebellion)
  • Do you save your doodles?

  As “creator” we enjoy the self-anointed god-like omniscience to decide life or death for our creations. There is no other choice for our children…life everlasting stuffed into old boxes and hauled around for 50 years.

  The office: The birth of Scissorcrafts websites. Our desire to illustrate collided with new grand kids and our ability to create web sites. We watched our pin-money sky-rocket from $300 to $50K before returning to crash and burn. The internet is a dirty place, filed with pirates, thieves and noble causes and we fought them all the way down.

  Junk Room

  And, for no points, the category is:

  Tedious, time consuming stacks of stuff

  • Pens that still write,
  • lids with no jars,
  • pieces without games

  These are not Jeopardy questions, these are bags and boxes of things to be sorted through. Things which have no place in decent society. Broken, disheveled rejects of stuff. Oh when will those old pens dry out! We know those jars are around somewhere. We just have to match up the games up, that’s all.

  Memories,

  • the good,
  • the bad,
  • the ugly

  intermixed into the heap. Children’s drawings, our drawings, writings of old times, friends and school mates. Boxes and bags of

  • photos,
  • cards,
  • negatives

  Good intentions long past due, now no dates, no places, no names…now bags of loose photos envelopes, negatives. All this…before inheriting our Fathers vast collection of nonsense.

  Conclusion: The Chaos Room The place where every thing we deny exists to mock me and my

  • excuses,
  • procrastination’s and
  • protestations
  • I don’t have time
  • It’s not the right time
  • It’s not really that important

  Guest Room. The kids are all grown and into their own lives miles away. These days the cat keeps company with the haunted spirit and sleeps comfortably between the big fluffy pillows, surrounded by piles of books, blankets and boxes.

  Office Room: Scissorcrafts is continued but her images are scattered throughout the Internet due to electronic file sharing. Pandora’s box opened, gone are the days when this self-anointed god-like omniscient one may decide life or death for her creations. My children have achieved life everlasting.

  Junk Room. The junk room continues to feed the dragon.

  We’ve waved the white flag, called in the kids – please take what is theirs and all of the rest. Last week our daughter brought over three bins of new stuff to add to the junk room. Sometimes we think we will leave it all to them, maybe they will burn the place down.

  There may come a time when the

  • earth,
  • planets and
  • stars

  converge and we finally have the time, at the right time, when it is really important…one of these days, we’ll finally slay the monster in our house…real soon