Joke: Expiration Dates

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The contents of our refrigerator remain bland through the crisis.

Cluttered with stuff we rarely use but Control refuses to give up on, Mostly years old sauces, jellies, mustard and packets of hot sauce. The rest is stuff we buy regularly lettuce, vegan mayo, sliced cheese, milk, real butter, celery, bread, sour cream, nuts, bacon, sausage, plain yogurt, cucumbers, occasional fruit…

Cupboards hide cans of beans and chili, more beans and corn. Canned meat, lots of Spam, tuna, chicken sardines and clams. And then there’s the freezer with the cauliflower crust pizza’s and fast food TV dinners. Typical Mid-Western Mediterranean fare.

Plain yogurt. We had to cut back somewhere. We do love the Trader Joes peach and strawberry yogurts to a fault, but the sweetness of it all was killing us and we had to say goodbye in favor of the plain, cheek tingling sour yogurt.

Lo, as we foraged the landscape for food on this 40th day of Covid19 sequestration, we spy one, solitary Peach Yogurt, hidden behind the 100% Vermont pancake syrup right next to the sugar-free knock-off. Unopened, unmolested, but for how long? Our heart fluttered.

Expiration date: May 15, 2019. We know a thing or two about yogurt.

We peeled back the protective aluminum seal to reveal a perfect peach yogurt as fresh as the day it was poured in the mold.

We consumed as though a magnificent pie. Each delicious bite a thrice over forbidden fruit.

  • Consumed long past recommended expiration date
  • A sweet, sugary treat guaranteed to send us to the danger zone
  • Living to tell the tale

Ingredients

Ingredient Checklist for Home Made Yogurt

  • 4 cups nonfat or low-fat milk
  • ΒΌ cup nonfat or low-fat plain yogurt

Find a recipe anywhere on the internet or buy a yogurt maker.

Yogurt has been around for over 5,000 years and was invented, stored and consumed in the hottest regions of the planet, without benefit of expiration date.

Yogurt, it’s one tough food group.

If nothing else this lock down pandemonium of supermarket shortages real and imagined, should reveal to We the Peeps that as far as danger real goes expiration dates primarily matter to raw meats.

Expiration dates matter to peak flavor which is determined by the very people who sell the product, surprisingly enough.

If it looks good, smells good tastes good it’s probably good, just not ‘peak,” our motto is don’t throw it away…consume it away.

 

About Post Author

pkelley

The Theory of Pat is a gradual process which will expand as we work out the mysteries of our past, present and future. We chose to share as we learn and practice how to navigate our own impulsive and irrational thoughts so we may help others better defend against those who work to exploit weakness.
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