Insecurity of the Walking Dead
Vampires/Zombies Replace Aliens to infect Earthling brains.
(sarcasm alert!) We insist Chaos is impressed with the propaganda machine’s handling of the emerging disease du jour Zika. Since first percolating a few short months back the hyper-coverage has exponentially focused toward the realm of ebola hysteria but, lesson learned, with subtly this go around. As we learned traveling on the ebola train with media, shadows may only absorb so much Terrorporn before eyes roll and we go back to sharing cat videos and tsking about how much water our neighbor wastes and how many government agencies we can call to make it stop.
Chaos suspects experts in hand-wringing mode over prospects of failing financial funding for HIV and AIDS now welcome ebola with open, hazmat-protected arms. Chaos knows fear is the most effective tool in the fund raiser closet. Fear of AIDS effectively gripped the short attention spans of the masses from the 80’s when the disease was first identified and the pilot program began. However, humanity eventually learned to self-protect and live complacently with AIDS in their midst.
What to do, what to do…
Ebola was was officially “discovered” in the year 1976, several years before AIDS. Chaos muses whether the brain softening effects of the proliferation of zombie apocalypse stories of horror and comedy throughout mass media since 1976 served to set the stage for the ultimate roll-out.
- Zombie movies before 1976 = 45
- Zombie movies after 1976 = 338
2014 enter ebola
The ultimate disease that produces zombie symptoms meets a herd primed and pumped and trembling in trepidation, ready to spend what ever it takes to be safe. Will it work? Will we stop killing each other at last to unify in solidarity over our collective illnesses and neurosis? Chaos says ‘no’ is both the long and short answer – but that we will be much easier to manage once the experts take control.
How to Survive Ebola
- Draft a will and testament
- Gather health and legal documents and put in safe place like a safe or bank box
- Write instructions so heirs may access passwords to logons for important accounts – bank, mortgage, power of attorney
- Write instructions so heirs may continue special projects, businesses or hobbies
- Go through household belongings; art, memorabilia, special memories and label, write a little history and make a record of who you want to have the item.
- Wash your car
- Clean your house.
- Drive to the store, buy a big steak
- Live as you did before ebola was invented because statistics show you will probably die of a heart attack if you don’t slip on a wet floor and crack your dumass head open first.
Ebola Reality Checklist
2010 mortality rates (per CDC)
- 24% Diseases of heart (heart disease) 597,689
23% Malignant neoplasms (cancer) 574,743
5.6%. Chronic lower respiratory diseases 138,080
5.2% Cerebrovascular diseases (stroke) 129,476
4.9% Accidents (unintentional injuries) 120,859
3.4% Alzheimer’s disease 83,494
2.8% Diabetes mellitus (diabetes) 69,071
2.8 % Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome and nephrosis (kidney disease) 50,476
2.0 % Influenza and pneumonia 50,097
1.6 % Intentional self-harm (suicide) 38,364
1.4 % Septicemia 34,812
1.3 % Chronic liver disease and cirrhosis 31,903
1.1 % Essential hypertension and hypertensive renal disease (hypertension) 26,634
.9 % Parkinson’s disease 22,032
.7 % Pneumonitis due to solids and liquids 17,011
Experts say the leading causes of US deaths in 2011 which was about the same as in 2010.
About 20% of deaths can be lumped into all other causes catagory.
Chaos assumes ebola is not among all other causes. So what do we do with this information?
Chaos ruminates the percentages of risk per population statistics to estimate the odds of contracting ebola outside of the infected zones and whether estimates of infection might include ebola insecurity such as food insecurity is used to estimate supply and demand for social programs.
Entire population of African continent is 1.1Bil. With 4,500 ebola deaths divided by a population of 1Billion the chances of contracting ebola in Africa is = 00045%
The entire population of the USA is 316 Mil which if percentages were applied equally in a vacuum devoid of modern medicines like cleanliness, running water, flushing toilets and soap and water the equivalent deaths of ebola in the USA might reach 1,400 without ay medical intervention what so ever, which won’t happen, yet we froth and foam as though the pharoahs minions are painting door sills with lambs blood and snatching first borns from mother’s arms.
Germ warfare
Chaos delves into the shadowy zone of science-fiction and has developed a dark opinion of what experts call “discovery” of lethal diseases…
Anyone currently in an hysterical panic over ebola on their pristine shores might need to learn that ebola was ‘discovered’ in 1976.
brought straight away to United Kingdom which resulted in 1 Laboratory infection by accidental stick of contaminated needle
1990 United States RESTV introduced into quarantine facilities in Virginia and Texas by monkeys imported from the Philippines. Four humans developed antibodies but did not get sick.
(where are those 4 people now Chaos inquires)
2004 Russia EBOV 1 Laboratory contamination.
Get the picture – the Russians are Coming, the Russians are coming.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Ebola_outbreaks
And for the truly paranoid, here’s a chart to monitor