Clean Jokes

The Difference between Brown & Black bears & Grizzlies A forest park ranger holds a training session for travelers and campers how to spot and avoid wild bears as they trek across the hinterlands. “Brown bears are usually harmless.” the ranger assures. Black and brown bears avoid contact with humans.  They are shy and react to noise...

It takes a good surprise ending to get our outside laughter going these days. A skeleton walks into a bar… The bartender says, “What’ll you have?” The skeleton says, “Gimme a beer and a mop.” Rude pancakes A mother asks her two young sons what they want for breakfast. The first little boy says, “I’ll have some...

Pastor Bob needed to find a new bell ringer so he placed a classified ad. Soon a slightly built, young man showed up and asked for the job. Pastor Bob looked him over skeptically, and said, “Son, The rope alone to the bell weighs much more than you, I think you are not big or muscular enough...

Size Does Matter Basketball: The sport of choice for Urbanites. Bowling: The sport of choice for Blue Collar folk. Football: The sport of choice for meat-heads and those with no necks… Baseball: The sport of choice for lower management. Tennis: The sport of choice for middle management. Golf: The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers....

Uncle Josh lifed to a ripe old age of 97. My favorite uncle.  He was a rough and tumble sort of guy. Hunter,fisherman all around outdoormans. I asked him once what did he attribute to his long lifespan. “How did you do it unk?” He responded, “When I was 12 years old, my father took me aside...

Q: How can you speed up the heart rate of your elderly spouse? A: Tell him you’re pregnant. Q: How can you avoid getting wrinkles? A: Remove your eye glasses. Q: Females: How to rid yourself of crow’s feet and face wrinkles? A: Go bra less, the weight will stretch those wrinkles right out. Q: What is...

Sandy the Siberian Tiger Sandy, the rare and endangered, Siberian white tiger, gladly bolted at the opportunity of escape when the train car transporting him to the zoo derailed. While on the loose, the tiger stealthily approached the town, scratching fence posts, befouling sandboxes and garden plots and terrorizing small family pets. This emergency prompted the local...