0
0
In a civilized society, a modicum of grooming and maintenance is required for an individual to successfully exist.
This means some chores are required for everyone, man, woman or child, rich or poor.
Chores are how we learn the habits of grooming and maintenance.
Chores activate the Pecking Order Genes POG’s, which I’ll discuss further.
Definition of a Chore:
- A routine task or job
- A difficult or disagreeable task
- Household Chore: (Chore + Infinity)
- An indefinitely large number or amount of difficult, disagreeable, routines, minor duties or tasks.
- Modicum (Modicum + Toiletry)
- a small measure of dressing and grooming.
- Household Chore: (Chore + Infinity)
Predictability of Chores
shopping for groceries
Whether a chore causes consternations and gnashing of teeth depends upon at least three prime factors:
- Necessitating conditions
- Who determines responsibility
- Significance and purpose
Power of Chores
The way an individual feels about a chore determines the significance and value or power of a chore.
-
- Consider the work at the office, school, or home. On a scale of 1 to 5 do you:
- 1= loath,
- 2= hate
- 3= don’t mind,
- 4= Like,
- 5=love
- Consider the work at the office, school, or home. On a scale of 1 to 5 do you:
Make a list of all household chores. Of the chores you perform which don’t bother you and which do you absolutely despise?
-
-
- wash dishes
- make the bed
- change oil in the car
- vacuum
- take the dog to the vet
- clean the bathroom
- ____etc._____
-
Reverse Chore Psychology
The playfulness of this catchy link “I Don’t Help My Wife. You Shouldn’t Either” captures the concept of the never-ending, divisive, age old power struggle that has been happening between wives and mates, men and women, partners since the dawn of time.
How can we impress upon individuals to accept personal responsibility for their own circumstances and predicaments?
How to explain to the aging adolescent (which might be you) how to stop acting like the self-centered adolescent you have become and start behaving as the adult in the room.
The 1950’s and 60’s advertising ‘helped’ shaped my view of the world.
As a teenager, we absorbed the message of the unfairness of it all, the drudgery of it all. Those poor overworked, under-appreciated, subjugated women whose only worth was to become a wife.
The messages impressed upon us that wanted to have a wife not be one.
As the creative being we are, we would would rather stick our nose in art, illustration and crafts, a heaping sink load of dishes or an unmade bed is the unwanted intrusion to creative time.
Poor we. “The rich” don’t have to bother with such nuisances. Their time is concentrated upon creativity and thought.
We assume…
…with maids, nannies, butlers and household cooks.
-
-
- Kids crying? Call the nanny!
- Car breakdown? Call the chauffeur!
- or you don’t know what anything costs because you never have to shop
-
How I wish.
Which brings me back to chores and resentment therein.
The further up the totem pole the more chores are required per individual. The most important figure on the totem pole is the guy at the bottom supporting you.
Once you step outside of the protective cocoon of Mom and Dad’s TLC and laundry service, you land right back on the top of the pole, only now it’s your own pole.
You get to do all of the chores to maintain your existence. You also get to choose which chores are important and which can be ignored or postponed.
Singles Chores
When you live by yourself chores consist of:
-
-
- Personal grooming
- Finding and keeping jobs
- Picking up after yourself
- Laundry and home maintenance such as
- Washing dishes
- Vacuuming and cleaning house
- Paying bills on time
- Water, sewer, garbage, rent, car payment, shopping and such
-
Relationship Chores
Now the fun starts.
Adults of any age are susceptible to impulses of Puppy Love and infatuation just as love-struck teenagers.
Social pressures kick in the instant you zero in on a potential significant other
Three types of infatuation:
-
-
- Blind desire;
- Carried away in love,
- giving no thought, insight or proper evaluative judgement about the relationship.
- Disregard for evaluation of the pending relationship due to craving or love for the selected target.
- Flat out bad judgement, ignorance or reckless regard for the other person involved.
- Blind desire;
-
Negotiating Chores
The specter of chores raises its ugly head the instant you settle in with the significant other.
When it becomes visible it may seem sudden but that’s because – who thinks about division of chores when you are in the throes of truly, deeply, madly love?
All signs ignored, all sins forgiven infatuation gives birth to the infantile battle of wits over who does what, when, why and where.
Couple Chores
When you live with someone, your chores consist of:
-
- Personal grooming
- Finding and keeping jobs
- Picking up after yourself
- Laundry and home maintenance such as
- Washing dishes
- Vacuuming and cleaning house
- Paying bills on time
- Water, sewer, garbage, rent, car payment, shopping and such
Hey! That Sounds Familiar
For some inexplicable reason, chores for one person are identical to chores for 2 individuals, or even three and so on.
However
One plus two = activates the Pecking Order Genes.
POGs are memories and habits and stuff. The cumulative brain synaptic collections of an individual’s habits, traits, quirks, preferences, knowledge, likes, dislikes and ability combined with environment and all that nature vs nurture stuff passed down through the family line.
- Personal grooming –
- Do you leave bathroom clutter on display:
- hair, tooth brushes
- shaving gear, mustache trimmers,
- curlers, blow dryers,
- nose hair clippers, tweezers
- perfumes, colognes, deodorants,
- clothing to dry in shower stalls
- towels on the floor
Are you dependent or independent?
Finding and keeping jobs
A big responsibility. Shirk this duty and twill aggravate the schism of all chores.
PS: The chore is a job. If the couple agrees one to stay or work at home, or a child enters the realm, re-negotiation of chores is required.
POG is the Enemy, You, Me and Us
Do you always pick up after yourself?
The ancient, no-brainer power struggle to see who cracks first.
The one who dropeths the socks, the clothing, towels and candy wrappers and trash is the aggressor/winner.
The loser pickeths it all up.
These skirmishes become Pecking Order Genes in an exponentially growing collection of individual brain synaps rallying around feelings of weakness, resentment, jealousy, envy, and rage.
These POGS exponentially seethe with every perceived injustice on behalf of the picker-upper.
If you are a picker and seething with POG, find a trash can and throw everyone’s else’s droppings into the can and tell them where to find their stuff.
Warnng: Make sure you collect all your own droppings and put them away first lest ye be accused of hypocrite. That’s the weak part of this theory.
…and it won’t change anyone’s behavior. That’s the other weak part.
…and you’ll probably end up baking a pie or something…
Back to the power play
Laundry and home maintenance:
- Washing dishes– the drudge of all drudges, the bane of household existence – and the one chore we have yet to successfully pawn off to anyone else.In the old days we washed by hand in the kitchen sink and dried the dishes on the counter or dried immediately and put away.
We never got to that immediate part. We can pile dishes until a clean fork can’t be found. Thank science for inventing the dishwasher. We can stuff them in the dishwasher till the door won’t close. Spouse puts them away…as per negotiation.
- Vacuuming and deep cleaning the house.A spouse who vacuums is worth his/her weight in gold.If everyone contributed to cleaning up their messes, a house would remain relatively clean.
Over the course of a day, week or month, gunk and stuff accumulates because we really would rather go have fun than stop the momentum to clean up the exploded a burrito in the microwave or wipe up thoroughly after a spill.
Once a mess is left unacknowledged on the floor, the stove top, bathtub or counter it magically transforms into community trash left to be picked up by the first person to crack. This arouses resentment, jealousy envy, and rage on the part of the self-appointed cleaner toward a tormentor which does not exist except in the imagination.
- Paying bills on time
- This efficiency chore should go to the person, male or female, who is most skilled, interested, and adept with the handling of money. Period. Some people just don’t have analytical skills, others have emotionally immature relationships with money. Think of money as a tool. Master your money and you master the tool that is money. Mastering money is part of the chore required to learning the habits of grooming and maintenance. Did you know the higher your credit rating is means you will pay lower interest on your charge card? Neglect educating yourself about money at your own peril. Just as we learn to wield tools such as a hammer and screwdriver, put pen to paper, or use the alphabet to learn how to read, we should learn to wield the tool of money otherwise mismanagement arouses resentment, jealousy envy, and rage on the part of the self-appointed manager of all things money toward a tormentor which does not exist except in the imagination.Budgeting – the only answer.
- The order of financial survival:
- Priority #1
- Committed expenses. These are the fixed-monthly expenses like rent, car payments, water, sewer, garbage, electricity, retirement and gas for home and auto. Create a budget and post it in a prominent place to remind all parties that household priorities start with survival.
- Priority #2
- Variable committed expenses. We all gotta eat and most gotta drive or commute to work somehow. Decide upon a reasonable amount to set aside so you don’t find yourself stuck without funds for food or gas between paychecks.
- Priority #3
- Discretionary expenses:
- Entertainment
- Recreation
- Cappuccinos with friends and co-workers for breakfast, lunch and dinner at Starbucks
- Downloading Aps for only $1 dollar,
- Pizza, fast food, soft drinks, ready-made foods, alcohol, drugs…
- Discretionary expenses:
All the the necessities of life.
Bottom line, it’s a no-brainer, if you can’t afford the basics you must lose the bad habits, learn to cooperate and determine your own limitations or the POG’s will send you down in flames.
-
Which Brings Back the Subject of Chores
We’ve had our share of chore battles over the years with spouses, kids and co-workers and experienced the accompanying feelings of jealousy, envy, and rage toward a tormentor which does not exist except in my imagination.
- Ultimately we settle upon an uncomfortable truce and continue the same behavior to repeat the conflict another day.The constant drum of inequality, however, continues to vex and harrow the imagination of all but the most stoic of individuals.
- Alas, it is easier to blame than introspect – and blaming others seems to drive the economy.
- Priority #1
