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Pastafarian Sighting: FSM Sighting: Flying Spaghetti Monster
We spent an afternoon soaking in the warm circulating waters of our spa which we keep heated at 100 degrees to avoid death by spa syndrome.
Filled with nostalgic fog, we fondly remember our shadowy offspring and how we’d so like another Guiness beer right about now but, alas, the ungrateful child grows to leave the nest and rarely visit.
It’s not like we didn’t feed them…
As we gazed into the baby blue sky to absorbed theD, a flash of something…cross our field of vision.
So we blinked and the thing appeared a bit clearer and appeared to be a horseshoe shaped noodle thing, but we blinked again and two meatball shaped eyes appeared.
We blinked again and the golden noodles appeared.
These sighting flew across in split seconds, barely enough time for a good view, but we blinked one last time and the apparition disappeared.
Try as we might the most we could see resembled fuzzy meatballs which leaves our heart to ponder and yearn to reunite in the eternal boiling cauldron.
Try as we might we ccan only catch a glimmer of a horseshoe and meat balls after that last fateful blink.
Sightings are rare, so we shall share the blink by blink footage…
May Shadows Be The Judge
Perhaps the meatballs serve as a conduit which combines with the sauce so mortals may view the pasta monster without our very heads exploding from experiencing the sheer awesomeness of the presence of the His Great Noodleness.
Perhaps the Spaghetti Monster watches our every move and metes out reward or punishment like whatever you most enjoyed in life you will receive 10 fold in the pot.
For example:
Should we enjoy being a crushing bore in life we shill be an excruciatingly dull bore for eternity but will be placed with shadows who enjoyed boredom as our grand reward.
Extreme sports enthusiasts will be dropped from the space shuttle on top of Mt Everest to find their way down the mountain side for all eternity
And people who like to blow crap up will be blown up themselves repeatedly for eternity, etc…
Such is the way of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, we assume.
We don’t know other Pastafarians or the Flying Spaghetti Monster, as we are no joiner. Joining requires effort, civility. The important thing is to have a literal belief in the FSM.
That we do, but we rather not expound because one of the Eight Condiments of Pastafarianism as passed down by pirate Captain Mosey:
- “I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Act Like A Sanctimonious, Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness.”
We agree that where our preconceived assumptions of Pastafarianism may differ with the established of Orthodox Organized Pastafarianism, whatever that may be shall hence forth be referred to as Pastafarianism Scism the of the First Kind.
Pastafarianism official fruit is the Green Olive.
The Marachino Cherry, is an acceptible substitute only when accompanied by small plastic sword.
We have been touched by his Noodleness and forever changed.
For better or worse, onlt time can tell.
Oh, and “Aaargh, me Hearties”
