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The comment on Twitter – X. The question prompts the interior dialogue.
It's interesting how often people "read into" what I write and then respond as if I have taken a stance that disagrees with them.
I try not to discourage it as it makes them bigger idiots when I don't argue the point.
— Jay- The True Scotsman (@JayDevin7) October 6, 2023
We are reminded that our dear Mother read between the lines with virtually every correspondence we ever wrote in communication attempts.
She did, in fact, write comments comments in red ink upon our letters and send them back filled with paranoid quesions and accusations of perceived disloyalty.
To engage in defense of perceived offense seemed to exaserbate the communication for each utterance is met with counter utterance of trivialites which obscure the initial intent and bury meaning, reason, accountbility undermountains of unresolved, personal bull shit.
The solution to the predicament is there is no solution.
No reasonable discussion of
- the topic allowed whatever it may entail.
- the degree to where we may agree and or disagree
- whether we join and revel regardless our personal stance
A Frustrating Circumstance
For the person seeking resolution to butt up against the Immovable Object:
- Bad Boss
- Uncooperative Co-Worker
- Non-communicative Parent
The Immovable Object sees unfamiliar, unwanted, unappreciated input as a challenge to their resolve which is to remain firmly entrenched in what ever psyche keeps them safe.
Define safe:
- Safe from harm, psychological, physical, spiritual.
- Safe from knowledge, responsibility, duty
- Safe from personal reflection, acknowledgment of fault or blame
Difficult People
The dificult person knows the arguments and is well versed in defense of same regardless whether justified, legitimate or off the wall bonkers.
Mind is made and there’s no getting past the inner guard.
We found this page on a search for how to deal with difficult people, because although we are experienced in this regard, we realize while having had to deal with difficult people in the past rather jades our objectivity, as we ourself have been… upon rare occasion…guilty of being difficult with which to deal.
We find the question boils down to how much harm may come if we choose not to engage.
- A lousy boss – and we are out of a job, career, livlihood
- An annoying co-worker – and we may become ostricized from a group or clique
- A non-cooperative parent or relative – disruption to familial harmony
How Right Do We Need To Be?
- A lousy boss – and we are out of a job, career, livlihood
- Realize your worth to the position.
- Reassess the value, skills and benefits that your presense brings to the job or company.
- Remember as death is the great equalizer, the majority us can be replaced with others willing to work.
We are reminded of a good boss who once said:
“I’m a “be here” person. I was here before the bad boss and I’m going to be here after the bad boss leaves.”
That’s one tactic. Simply outlive the disease.
Remember the Peter Principle, incompetence, like cream, always rises to the top, which explains a lot about politics at the moment.
If your career is on the line and you don’t like the boss it’s time to either get creative or get gone to another job.
- Play dumb: We find acting completely obtuse can work wonders on the controlling personality, plus it’s kind of fun to make the red-faced a bit redder upon occasion.
- Become a model employee: Make sure your work is done and done well or exemplary, give no excuses for the bad boss to justly remove your presence.
- Be funny: A good office comedian is worth our weight in gold dubloons
- Befriend the bosses boss… a no-brainer there
Other boring suggestions from the above linked article include
- Resonate Compassion
- See the Experience as an Evolutionary Opportunity
- Walk Away if Necessary
- Practice Defenselessness
- Don’t Take it Personally
- See Through the Control Drama the Other Person Is Using
- Use the S.T.O.P. Model to Avoid Reactivity
The Annoying Co-Worker
How cooperative do we need to be?
- Cross paths with an annoying co-worker and we may become ostricized from a larger group or clique
Again, that decision refers to the latter How Right Do We Need To Be?
What is your value to the job as compared to the value the offending co-worker brings to the table.
Difficult people may not feel secure in your presense.
Assess the level of threat you represent to the stability of the offender position and if you find yourself aggrevating the situation, back your attitude up a bit. Take the high road.
You aren’t going to win if you buck heads with bull-headed co-workers that hold seniority.
The Bad Parent
50% of parents are ill-equipt to be parents and yet, here we are.
- A non-cooperative parent or relative – disruption to familial harmony
This is a walk a mile in someone elses moccasins opportunity. Think, reason, examine your family history, your ancestry. What could have happened to your relative to make them behave thus?
We find research of ancestry highly rewarding and informative.
Migrations, murders, mayhem, economy, tragedy…insanity. Learn to undertstand the why of behavior to help how to behave around abberant behavior.
