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Village Idiot Mascotts
Movie Review:
“The Village” popped up in our Netflix queue as a 5 star suggestion, which piqued curiosity not having seen any of the M. Night Shyamalan films.
We tried to warn against us but Chaos doesn’t listen to admonitione. Itonic that Chaos now realizes we should have seen it coming, but damn, the show was stacked with most of our favorite actors; Sigourney Weaver, William Hurt, the guy off Lake Placid and River Phoenix’s brother…so it must be good, right?
In the nutshell, a group of intellectuals frustrated by the evil and violence of the real world, wall themselves off into a secret society for 40 years. To ensure everyone’s safety, the founders invent a horror story to strike irrational fear into the hearts and minds of their children and grandchildren who run shrieking in horror at sight of the evil color red.
(Reminiscent of our current political parties)
Must be a Santa Claus phobia.
Aside from the weirdly, giddishly Amish atmosphere, the sudden skinning of the animals seemed sinister enough, but seemed to mysteriously occur, oddly enough, every time a character seemed particularly happy or pleased with life in general.
The existence of the village idiot, however, troubles the hero Phoenix, so he gathers courage and proposes to be allowed to breach the perimeter to find medicine that will cure the mentally impaired tribal representative. To further complicate matters, hero is the love object of the village chief’s visually impaired, but psychically enhanced daughter.
The offer sparked something that might be described as the emotional response of a gaggle of botox models worried someone found their stash of Cheerios. Apparently worried and disturbed, the elders throw a village festival with song and dance. During thus unnecessary joy, bonding and happiness, all the animals are slaughtered and then the village idiot stabs our hero 50 or 60 times in the chest.
Why? This is never explained
Chaos is perplexed to admit confusion, they say it was love but no one pays attention to the fool.
The elders throw the addle-brained into a locked room for future punishment. Within seconds Blithery finds the secret monster costume the elders wear in their nightly terror fests. Later the elders are shocked to find both him (the guy who stabbed his friend 50 or 60 times in the chest) and the costume have escaped into the wilderness. So, they collectively decide it’s not worth mentioning. Seems every village needs an idiot and this one has several.
Switch to post-op bedside
Now to find our hero’s 50 or 60 stab wounds to the chest are all sewn up and he’d be all set and ready to go if it weren’t for a massive infection that could kill him at any moment. So, the blind girl volunteers to go fetch the medicine in the hero’s place. The elders hold a meeting and somehow a decision is made that only logical conclusion that will save this boy and the village is to send the blind girl into the forest to fetch the medications necessary from “the other side.” Of course they supply her with a couple of adolescent, ignorant and cowardly male chaperones to help her on the quest and within 10 minutes they both turn tail and flee back to the safety of the village to leave the girl to thrash and stumble blindly through the forest on a quest to somehow locate another village the whereabouts unknown to her.
Enters the village idiot dressed in the monster costume who scares the living bricks out of the girl who subsequently kills the knuckle headed jokester by tricking him into falling into a deadly hole in the ground,
and that’s where it starts getting weird
Does it occur to anyone that a normal, average or slightly dysfunctional family unit or small community would conceive of sending a blind person off into the woods on a quest to anywhere with inexperienced and cowardly guides upon which to rely?
Forget suspension of disbelief issue, that stabbed me right square in between the frontal lobes 10 minutes into this horror of a movie. Admittedly, a large community would send a visually impaired so-called psychic teenager into the briar patch just to see how many days/weeks/months it would take for her to find a wall an unknown distance away. A major metropolis would make it a sports betting event, but this is a community of what, 20 – 50 people led by elders (mothers/fathers) who apparently all have the map memorized, yet when one of their own children lay dying at any moment, none of these hand wringers bother to accompany much less lead the quest for medicine for expediency sake to save a kids life.
Chaos is expert at suspending disbelief but this one required we suspend disbelief of disbelief and which sent our balance into a tailspin loop preventing Chaos from thoroughly appreciating the acting skills of some of Chaos’s favorite actors.
Chaos insists a relatively sane and remotely socialized human being would expect, at the point where the two remaining village idiots showed up blubbering and sobbing about how scary those woods were and how they had no choice but to abandon the blind girl who, mind you, was on a quest to find medicine to cure the hero who could die at any moment. No rush there,
but wouldn’t one expect a rescue party?
If this was supposed to be an allegory of something deeper, Chaos doesn want to know. we suspect further research to learn of deeper meaning would lead Chaos to a website that would attempt to explain its deeper meaning. Call Chaos unenlightened or insensitive but how could one explain the depth of freaking casting a blind kid to the wind to fend for herself in a brier patch while the gaslighters in charge continue to terrorize the kiddies at home for their own safety sake all the while a kid lays dying totally dependent upon a wandering blind girl accidently finding help.
Come to think of it, this is a synopsis of our current political parties…
At any time during the movie these one of these cowardly jerks could have trotted his or her butt to the gate to ask for medicine. We weep for the village children and their Jones town captors.
Maybe a sequel could be entitled: The Village – Intervention with child welfare social workers taking a visit of the village.
Hilarity ensues.
