What is a Woman?

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We came to an agreement several years ago, the four of us among countless as yet unknowns, that since Chaos insists upon 3:00 A.M. crying sessions we should establish ground rules so at least three of us can get some sleep.

Our female birth was a disappointment.  Everyone involved prayed for a boy…Had I been a boy, Mother could have stop having children and probably sex, but alas.

We became that boy.  A Daddy’s girl, a Tom Boy.  We played boy games and sought boy playmates.  Marbles, stick ball, dodge ball.  We played in the dirt, built forts, made skid marks with bicycle tires and was proud of all scars received in the process.

Our toys were Lincoln Logs, Erector sets and we learned how to wield every hammer, screwdriver and vice grip in Dad’s tool box.

We learned the basics of hands on electronics, engineering, architecture and construction. We ‘helped’ Dad restore record players, radios, and became responsible to maintain bicycles, lawnmowers and gardens.

From Father we learned:

  • reason, rationality, analytics,
  • literature, classics, music,
  • comedy, ridicule, sarcasm, humiliation,
  • shame, violence, cruelty, to distrust women
  • hunger, poverty and abandonment

And then he was gone.

Suddenly thrust into the world of Mother, we became a Tom Boy in search of a Father.

When Father disappeared from our life, we were prevented from contacting him, prohibited to speak about him and any letters, cards and gifts returned to sender.

We find ironic that for as much contempt Father held toward Mother, women, girls in general, Mother loathed Father, men and boys so much in total and held an intense contempt for everything pink.

Mother’s style of parenting was slash and burn, utter erasure of all things Father/male.  Volumes of family photographs destroyed, toys, collectibles, heirlooms tossed.

Examine Vexes, vices & virtues for reassuranceShe would have erased our very memories…if she only could…but that tale is another story.

From Mother we learned:

  • Cooking, sewing, ironing
  • Independence, self-reliance, responsibility,
  • Ridicule, isolation, humiliation,
  • Shame, violence, and to distrust women.

She valued our Tomboy skills once Father was gone, however but girl on girl talk was sister’s domain who became a resentful surrogate Mother to us and our young, now Fatherless brothers.

That was 1960’s when welfare, food stamps and social programs were in their infancy but civil unrest, war, drug use, promiscuity and divorce rates were all the rage.

Fast forward to 2022. 

We, once again, find ourselves back at 3:00 a.m. crying session where we examine our vexes, vices, virtues and form a consensus that we are indeed a strong, capable person and comfortable with being a girl/woman.

Which brings us back to the mind map process above, which we are finding very useful lately with the burning question of the year by foolish journalists who ask…

what is a woman...really?

What is a Woman?

Answer: “I don’t know, I’m not a biologist”

To which we respond…Are You Kidding?!?

We can say what women are definitely not:

what a woman is not

  • A club
  • Barbed hook
  • Shame
  • Shopping, possessions
  • Job and Career
  • Children
  • Marriage
  • Feelings

What is a Woman? 

A woman is a human being with ovaries, a vagina and has the capability to give birth.

Whether a woman chooses any of the above or declines is a Moot Question relating to a controversy that does not exist.

What is a Woman?

Truth of the matter is that 100% of humanity is born of women.  Sci-fi promises test tube babies but has yet to replace the old-fashioned womb.

As a child, we considered many occupational paths:

bucketWhen we were in our youth we dreamed of playing baseball and felt quite demoralized upon learning it was a prohibited activity for the “tender sex.”

Baseball was just one among a bucket list things our gender was prevented or discouraged from pursuing at the time:

Not Allowed/ Not Encouraged

  • Lawyer, Doctor,
  • Pilot, Ship Captain
  • Engineer, Architect, Construction
  • World Traveler/explorer
  • Ntl Geo/Disney Artist
Encouraged/ Recommended

  • Clerk, Nurse, Dental Assistant
  • Stewardess, Cook
  • Teacher, Legal Assistant
  • Tour Guide, Hostess
  • Marriage, Motherhood


Puberty was fun…

Mother covered the basics, sanitary pads, calendar to track monthly flow, training bra.  The rest was up to us to figure out.

We figured out how to dress to protect from spotting, tolerate cramping, endure teasing, embarrassment, fend off unwelcome advances … no discussion.

We grew to despise everything female including our self as compared to relative the freedoms reserved for males.

Which brings us back to the point of this speech.

The utter travesty of the Lea Thomas transgendered female swimming competition.

Ms Thomas, we are admonished by fools in syndicated media, to refer to as “She” and mindlesslyunfair competition to erase womens rights accept “her” as a bona fide female contender.

This is our delima.

  • Ms Thomas was born a male and retains “her” male genitalia,
  • Experienced puberty as a male,
  • Bulked up as an athlete with male muscle mass,
  • “She” stands 6’4″ with a large male frame and towers a a foot taller than born female competitors.
  • Appears nude among female competitors in the women’s locker

We are told by media bobbleheads to celebrate “her” win as a Victory for Women”

Gaslighting at its Finestgaslighting - make someone question their own reality

This is a text-book example of Gaslighting.

Gaslighting is the unforgivable art of making someone doubt their own reality.   To purposely introduce dysphoria, doubt, role confusion in order to gain advantage.

We have little issue with adult individuals transitioning from one sexual dysphoria to another, although we prefer discussions of acceptance over disfiguring  surgery.  Our problem with Lea Thomas is the blatant and obvious unfairness and duplicity.

The criteria officials granted Ms Thomas for competition was that ‘she’ declare she is a woman and take hormone injections to give her a somewhat weaker male physique.

This is akin to raising a bull to become an OX and calling it a trans cow.

The arguments against objecting include super charged emotional baragges of

  • Bigot, transphobe
  • Unfair to LGBTQ…
  • Discriminatory, unequitable

We are asked “Do you know any trans people? Do you have any Trans friends?”

Magical ThinkingTo which the obvious response can only be “Biology is not determined by Magical Thinking, emotions or feelings.”  We feel for those with sexual or gender dysphoria.  We ourself have gender dysphoria but we aren’t trying to take over someone else’s sandbox as we work our issues out.

We are sorry they have such a burden to bear but dysphoria doesn’t give license to lay claim to which ever sex they arbitrarily choose and shove all other eggs out of the nest like an invasive cookoo bird.

We repeat: A woman is a human being with ovaries, a vagina and has the capability to give birth, qualities of which Ms Thomas does not, and will never possess.  Had he physically altered his body as did Bruce jenner to convert to Katlin Jenner we may not feel so aggrieved…maybe.

The sport of Boxing is broken into weight classes to ensure ‘fairness’ in the sport, to prevent a 6’4″ boxer from doing battle with a 5’8″ contender, yet in swimming competition this combination is allowed?

We know people are born with gender issues such as Testicular Feminization – Androgen Insensitivity, an extremely rare condition where babies are born as genetic males (XY) but don’t develop a penis and testicles and instead have a false vagina.   Due to male hormone insensitivity they develop into the form of a female.

We believe this is not that.   Ms Thomas as a biological male with all his male parts is free to beat the pants off the girls in swimming contests and later decide he’d rather be a man after all and simply stop hormone treatments.

Talk show circuit and book tour to follow:  The Great Women’s Sport Hoax of the 21st Century.

Meanwhile leaving a trail of crushed dreams and egos of young women in ‘his’ wake.

SwampWe, on the other hand, we have spent our lifetime crawling out of a swamp infested with insults, low expectations, ridicule and contempt in our quest to be at peace with femininity.

We experienced up close and personal, the pleasures and pitfalls of womanhood, the menstruation, cramps, blood spotting, looks, leers, unwelcome advances, propositions, pregnancy, birth…along with unwelcome criticisms for bringing children into this horrible world.

A bit of history.  In 1887 Massachusetts introduced the first Women-only restrooms.  The invention freed women at the time from their “Urinary Leash” which up till then in history all bathrooms were male only.  This natural leash prevented women from  venturing out no further than their bowels or bladder would allow.   This was undoubtedly the first step in equality for women.

We’ve gone from 1960’s where women were prohibited from engaging in sport to 2022 where the very concept of “women” is up for question with an unfair contest that is a slap in the face of women everywhere.

We suggest “transprivilege” upon males who lay claim to being a woman or girl yet take a pass on the sans penile part of the bargain when the nearest tree will suffice.  We doubt Ms Thomas worries much about bathroom breaks nor removes panties and bares her narrow-hipped ass to pee.

Could this be yet another “Leash for we but not for thee” hypocrisy?

And this is progress?

A friend recently mentioned that people learn life in different ways.  Some take the easy way and others have to pee on an electric fence before they get the message.

We agree this issue is an electric fence worth dying over.

Connect the Dots, Trans Trigger to Eliminate Women?

Could the breathless hysteria over transrights and “what is a woman” controversies have been triggered into hyperdrive through government regulations to insert women into every boardroom across the nation?  https://www.sos.ca.gov/business-programs/women-boards

In 2018, Women on Boards (SB 826) was signed into law to advance equitable gender representation on California corporate boards.

Sep 5, 1976 https://www.nytimes.com/1976/09/05/archives/renee-richards-controversy-what-is-a-woman.html


We are at peace.

Link: How Feminism Got Hijacked

Pregnant people the article received 1,408 mostly negative comments till comments were closed down.


Everywhere, women are being told to shut up and sit down, or else.

Attorney and professor of sexual violence law Wendy Murphy writes for the Boston Herald: The bill…will amend numerous civil rights laws by changing the meaning of the word sex and conflating it with gender identity, so that both become optional…. People can change their gender identity because gender identity is based on how one feels and some people feel more male than female and vice versa, but sex is not about feelings, it’s about biological reality.

Intimidation by Trans Activists

Bring Back Classical Feminism

Organizations to Support


Examine Vexes, vices & virtues for reassurance






About Post Author


The Theory of Pat is a gradual process which will expand as we work out the mysteries of our past, present and future. We chose to share as we learn and practice how to navigate our own impulsive and irrational thoughts so we may help others better defend against those who work to exploit weakness.
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