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Q: How can you speed up the heart rate of your elderly spouse?
A: Tell him you’re pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid getting wrinkles?
A: Remove your eye glasses.
Q: Females: How to rid yourself of crow’s feet and face wrinkles?
A: Go bra less, the weight will stretch those wrinkles right out.
Q: What is the most common remark made by old people when they visit an antique store?
A: I had one of those.
Q: Where can an elderly male find a younger, good looking woman who is interested in only him?
A: Check the bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a mate do when his wife goes through menopause?
A: Find a project to build a game room. When he’s finished, he’ll have a place to live.
Q: Why should elderly people use valet parking?
A: The valet won’t forget where your car is parked.
Q: Is it a common problem for old people to have trouble with memory storage?
A: No. Memory storage is not the problem, it’s the virtual processing of all the other stuff in our heads that get in the way.
Q: Do people sleep more soundly as they get older?
A: Yes, but it’s usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should old people look for glasses?
A: On their forehead.
